( Phone Call (Blogfa - by Zizilak

One of the major draw backs of living abroad is that you don't have much option when it comes to finding friends. It takes years to get used to the new culture and make new friends that you can love and trust. The cultural difference and the fact that you haven't been to a high school in your new country, to grow up with that culture makes it more challenging.

As a results many immigrants stick to people from their own home country. The idea is that you have a mutual past life and culture, which makes it easier to understand each other and have something in common to talk about. The disappointing result of this strategy is not only the fact that you won't learn how to make friends in the new culture, but only the fact that you are choosing your fiends from a smaller pool of people.This lowers the possibility of finding a friend that really understands you, and you can be friends for long periods of times.

As grad student immigrants this challenge is harder to overcome, because once you find that one friend that is "the one" it is time for one of you to pack up and go to another city/country. Luckily for me, I came here with Sibak, and I can always lean on him when I need him, but over the past couple of years many times I was in a situation where I didn't really know whether I have any other friends that are my real friends and not just social acquaintances. I good friend of mine actually mentioned this to me once when I was complaining about someone. "They are not looking for friends like you are, they are just looking for someone to hang out with", she said.

Today was one of those days that I was sitting here alone all day, hoping that somebody would be thinking about me and would call me. There are days like this that you start thinking with yourself, does any one really like me? Were my friends really my friends or they were just hanging up with me because I was around and I had a car and I used to be a really good "designated driver",since I don't really drink that much. It is not like I don't have really good friends. There are days that I feel like the king of the world (Well, let's say queen of the world) and I feel happy and satisfied. But I have my moments of sadness too. Generally speaking I hate to be alone, even for half a day. In the new city I only know a few people and none of my other firends has called me since I got here (except for Sibak of course.) I called many of them many times and chatted online a lot, but I just felt like no one cares that I am gone. Feels like I am not being missed. They are going around living their life as if nothing has changed. So clearly I wasn't such a big deal after all. May be I wasn't a good friend for them. I should have done more or been nicer perhaps.

Then I started wondering what I would do after a friend left? May be I would do the same, thinking that perhaps they are too busy to be bothered or may be I would be interrupting. That feels really weird I am 30 and still insecure about my friends, like a teenager.

I was sitting here and thinking about all these when the phone rang. Guess who it was? My dear dear uncle and he told me he called me because he thought I might be too lonely here, without Sibak. He is just the best uncle in the whole world. I was thinking about him all day, when I couldn't get a song out of my head which we used to sing with him in the car when I was a kid. It goes like "larzoon larzoon, yavash yavash, omadam dare khonaton, ...."

Thanks "dayi joon". You made my day. I feel a lot better now, I know there is someone thinking about me and I don't feel so lonely anymore.