( In my Dad's memory (Blogfa - by Zizillak

Two week after I had returned, working really hard to get some results for an upcoming July meeting in France (my first trip to Europe and I was really excited) his best friend of 50 years passed away unexpectedly. That year and the year before, we lost so many dear to us including my grandmother. It was just a spiral of misery after that. My dad lost hope, and with that his health and memory.

Three months later when I visited him again, even though I had heard the descriptions of his health it came as such a shock. Now all I can remember from him, is this frail old man who barely remembered me, battling with Alzheimer’s and Cancer. I couldn’t face it to go back home again for a third time and see him in his grave.

After all these years it is still hard for me to believe that he is not there anymore. For the first two years all my dreams about him, was about his illness, and his frail body crashing in my arms. Now at least I have good dreams. I see him smiling and happy. I see him hugging me coming back from work. One more time I am a happy little girl waiting by the door of our old house in Tarasht neighborhood listening to the sound of the cars passing by, trying to distinguish the distinct sound of his Toyota.

After any misery you learn how to cope, and eventually you learn that life is still going on. You learn that with or without you, your life is passing by, and you learn to have fun in Paris, in your first European visit.

Ironically I am traveling to Europe again this year. Haven’t been there since that summer and ironically I am sitting here trying to get some useful data and distracting myself from the chain of the events by working hard. I interrupt myself every two minutes or so to check out the news and it is not going so well. I can’t imagine the feelings of those who are loosing loved ones so unexpectedly. I hope by the time I find myself in Rome this ordeal is behind us. Like Zizili, I hate June and I will probably hate it for the years to come.